November 6, 2017
November 6, 2017Daisy
There is no doubt these last 8 weeks have left me in awe of what I’m capable of. But more than that – how I’ve been able to cope with “failure.”
I would be lying to you if I told you I followed this rigorous Body Back Transformation program to a T. I was often intimidated and the thought “is she serious?!” crossed my mind more times than I care to mention. The workouts, the homework, the meal planning are all set in place with a purpose, however, for someone who had not worked out in four years, I found myself overwhelmed a lot of the time.
Becoming present to my self-talk was a game changer. Just when I was starting to feel defeated (at around week 3), I really paid attention to how hard I was being on myself and decided ENOUGH! After that, I reassured myself I’m doing the best I can.
It’s hard to be in good spirits when you don’t see results… but something magical happened around week six. I thought it was just me but little by little I saw my other BBT Mamas report significant changes in the way they looked, felt and even how their clothes fit, myself included.
You may or may not -remember my goal was never to meet a number on the scale but rather to feel confident and secure about myself. I’m happy to report that around week six, I started wearing clothes that I hadn’t taken out of the closet in years, and even went as far as wearing pre-baby shorts (OMG shorts) in public that I was not able to squeeze in since having my son. I was even on a public beach, confidently showing my midsection. This was all unimaginable before August. MAJOR WIN!
I am beyond ecstatic with my results and most important thing that I found something I love to do. I love the communityFit4Mom has created and I’ve signed up to continue my journey with their Stroller Strides program and hopefully, revisit the eight-week BBT program in later months when I am more committed to sticking to reaching another goal.
My last bit of advice as I close out the series:
It will be a challenge.
The workouts are hard.
The requirements will test you.
But you are worth it. You are a Mother. You can take on anything and most importantly, you are not alone; you have an entire community that stands behind you.
In health and so much love,
November 2, 2017
I’m inspired to reach out to the Mother who is looking for a place to belong. My eight-week Fit4Mom journey has opened my eyes to the strong community we organically form as women and the spoken (and unspoken) challenges we face day to day. Some of our challenges are relatable, yet many are not; not by our partners, parents, children and/or childless peers.
But we do. We “get” it. The conversations I’ve heard and had over the last 2 months have range from getting our toddlers to eat certain foods to fertility challenges to feeling like we’re lacking in every part of our lives.
You are one of us; before you think of joining a class, know that you belong here. Know that we get the sleepless nights, the constant juggling of life, the importance to connect and the many changes that come with motherhood.
I’ll admit it- I was you. I was afraid to join Fit4Moms’ Body Back Transformation program (or any program for that matter.) After not working out for close to 4 years I felt completely inadequate and frankly embarrassed to work out with a strange group of women. New is scary. Change is scary. But not growing through our fears and pushing past the uncomfortable is even scarier. Not knowing where to start being active is terrifying. Feeling unhealthy is paralyzing.
If you’re still with me - don’t stay where you are. We get it. We get you. Make the decision to grow and don’t stop until you’re proud.
A special shout out to my BBT crew and new Stroller Strides community. From day one you’ve made me feel right at home, thank you!
In health and love,
October 26, 2017
October 26, 2017Daisy
My favorite part of our 1 hour class is the time we take to wind-down and stretch; not only because I get to rest- but because I get to reflect and center myselfbefore heading back home to my little family. Our instructor has read some pretty awesome meditations for us over the last 6 weeks and I find this one to be the best so far. I wanted to share it with you all. Enjoy!
As moms, we often feel like we don’t get things quite right. We feel like we aren’t a perfect parent, we worry we aren’t a perfect example of beauty; we beat ourselves up comparing ourselves to others. But to some small people in this world, you are PERFECT. You are Supermom.
Only YOU have soothed HUNDREDS of cries,
given HUNDREDS of tickles,
journeyed through HUNDREDS of sleepless nights,
changed HUNDREDS of diapers,
given HUNDREDS of kisses and squeezing hugs,
made HUNDREDS of owies go away with only your loving touch.
If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything – remember this: YOU, Supermom, have made a child feel valued, loved, accepted and incredible hundreds of times…you are a superhero capable of the most amazing things.
Do NOT doubt yourself for one HUNDREDTH of a second.
You are an incredible woman, 100 times over.
By: Erica Spear, Manager at Fit4Mom Eastside
In a world of not-enoughness, I hope these words speak to you like they did to me.
In health and love,
October 16, 2017
Documenting this Fit4Mom journey has been a true test of my emotional and physical health; my unrealistic expectations and my motives for being healthy.
If you're serious about sustainable change (in or out of the gym), don't expect to see results overnight or in a week. Healthy habits are harder to create than unhealthy ones; it takes a lot of effort, willpower and often you're left with little to no gratification.
I highly recommend you find accountability for your goals. Find someone who is supportive, firm and non-judgmental. This could be one person or (in my case) several.
Along with consistency and accountability, practice self-forgiveness. You're doing the best you can for goodness sake. The number one lesson I've learned thus far is to be nice to myself. Think of it this way, would you praise and encourage your child to keep going in order to achieve a goal they’re striving for, or would you tell them to give up?
I can’t do a side plank to save my life. But I have noticed gradual strength in my form over the last five weeks. That’s gotta count for something, right?
In health & love,
October 12, 2017
I didn’t think I’d say this so soon, but I’ve really really come to enjoy my workouts with Fit4Mom. It’s not always easy to leave the house, but once I’m in the gym, I’m always happy I made it there. And I always leave surprised at what I can accomplish in one hour. Always.
So far, our workouts have been solo - as in, we workout in a group setting but its every mamma for herself. Some days I’m so tired and think there’s no way I can do 10 more of these, or I lose count of my reps and I think its okay I’ve done enough. Or how about this - our instructor says “10 seconds left” and I catch myself slowing down or stopping all together before the timer goes off.
No big deal right?
If you’ve been following along, you’ve probably already noticed this health and wellness journey is largely in the mind. After I caught myself “stopping short” a few times, I realized the only person I was cheating was me. No one was checking on me to see if I did all 50 burpees. No one cares; everyone is in their own head, in their own struggle.
So. I ask you- do you shortchange yourself when you go to the gym? Do you stop short of the timer? Or do you give it everything you’ve got?
It’s a work in progress, y’all. Give it all you got!
In Health and Love,
October 3, 2017Daisy
The Body Back program requires us to be at the gym 2xs a week, and last week after our trainer kicked our butt on Monday, I really really didn’t want to go on Wednesday. I was so sore and tired and I started to make up my mind as to why I couldn’t go and what excuse I could give my group... I looked at my husband hoping to gather an ounce of sympathy and said “I’m not going today.” He looked back at me with slight disappointment and said something like, “Okayyyy but you’ve already committed...” So I started rambling off all my premeditated excuses in hopes to help me feel better and justify my copping out.
Here’s the truth guys - no one really wants to go to the gym. One of my favorite authors, Darren Hardy says - we as human are inherently lazy, it’s in our DNA! ( https://darrenhardy.com/2014/03/high-performers/ ). The best way to get around this is to reinforce the healthy habits your are looking to create. You can do this with people you love, establishing accountability partners or hyping yourself up! I took a poll on Facebook asking people to share their self talk for days when their motivation is low. Here are some of my favorites!
- I AM worth it
- The hardest part is getting there
- How long am I willing to stretch out my progress?
- Do you want to feel accomplished or do you want to be full of guilt?
- Skipping a day leads to several days which leads to being out of shape
- Stop self sabotaging! You can do this __( your name)__ and you’ll feel better It’s worth it!
- It doesn’t hurt, it’s just hard and I’m going to fight to get the results I want to make me FEEL good
I ended up going to the gym that night and as I was heading for the door my husband stopped me and said “I’m proud of you.” I mean, how could I possibly let my biggest fan down after hearing those words?
In health and love,
September 25, 2017
Guys, week-two was a total bust. I started strong, feeling the groove of my new routine- then slowly but surely I let life get in the way. My at-home workouts were incomplete, my meal planning was practically out the window and I started to slightly disappear from the conversations in our Facebook group. There’s really no one to blame but myself, and as I started to spiral into feelings of guilt and shame – my Bestie stepped in and said “Hey! Its okay, I know it’s hard. Just pick up again tomorrow.”
We were all assigned a “Bestie” last week, which became yet another strong layer of accountability. I can’t tell you how nice it was to be encouraged instead of judged. I mean, as Moms, we judge ourselves practically on cue, right? Even before we step out of bed we’re thinking of all the things we didn’t do, could’ve done, etc.
I’m not very easy on myself and I’m thankful I have someone who is. Not for the sake of cutting me slack – but as a gentle reminder that we’re in this together, we’re not perfect and we always have an opportunity to try again. I mentioned in my first post that I’m a Certified Integrative Health Coach so that pretty much guarantees I meet “you should know better” with every mistake I make. This is when the teacher becomes the student; it’s okay, it is hard, we’ll pick up again in the morning.
September 18, 2017
The first week at the gym was eye-opening on so many levels. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how the program is structured to really make Moms feel empowered. I was also surprised at all the ugly that came up…
I was nervous about being back at the gym for the first time in 4 years and was certain I was going to be the odd one out. To my surprise, everyone in the group was friendly and reassuring. I found the women to be of all heights and sizes and they treated me as if we had known each other for months. We workout at a dance studio which means there are mirrors all around us. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but once we got started, I noticed it was difficult to look at myself in the mirror and I felt a lot of insecurities and negative self-talk creep in - especially if I felt the exercises were getting too tough. Things like “it’s your fault we’re in this mess” and “how could you be so careless” and “you deserve to struggle through this…” I didn’t say anything to anyone; all of this caught me by surprise and I tried my best to shake it off (with little to no luck.) The only thing that changed that horrible inner-self talk was none other than my sweet 3-year-old.
Mid-week while doing my mirrorless, at-home workout (and somehow convincing my husband to do it with me) we heard our son wake up from his nap and take a seat on the couch behind us as we finished the 2nd round and transitioned into a water break. Covered in sweat and barely catching my breath, I heard a little voice behind me say “Good job, Mami!”
All it took was three little words for me to give myself any credit for the work I was doing. I mean, if he was proud of me, shouldn’t I be, too? What would he think if he heard me talking down on myself? What would I think if I ever heard himtalking down on himself? I’m so very thankful I was present enough to hear such a simple and profound message from the person I love most. From here on out, Mami is keeping her shoulders back and her head high, baby.
I truly couldn’t have been paired with a better group and trainer. And while I’m sore beyond what I’d imagined, I’m so looking forward to the next seven weeks.
In health and love,
September 10, 2017Daisy
Talking to a good friend recently I heard my Self say " I don't know what I got myself into; I really don't want to do this [Body Back]...." and then moments, later - "...but I know if I don't do this now, without THIS type of accountability - I probably never will..." It's true. The day is getting near and I'm becoming increasingly anxious about the work that lies ahead.
Then she said something that spoke to my core: what will happen if you say "I'm not ready for this" and cancel your commitment?
I stopped her before she completed her sentence: "Absolutely not! Taking it all back is not an option. I HAVE to do this!"
The 8-week Body Back Program is drawing near and I'm forced to look at my goals and meal plan for next week. I'm not going to lie -- It's pretty overwhelming. Looking at the food adjustments gives me a bit of anxiety thinking "what the heck am I supposed to eat and when am I going to find time to plan, shop, cook, run my business etc...?"
I've never been a meal planner. Probably the reason I'm in this mess. For whatever reason I find it to take up so much mental energy and I realized today that even if I do plan for a day or two- my eating habits tend to be out of feeling, as in - What do I "feel" like eating right now. Writing and admitting this to you is a huge awakening. What type of example is this setting for my soon-to-be 3 year old?
If I'm being honest with myself, I really DO want to meal plan! I want to have a cute chalkboard in my kitchen with our family's menu for the week, and as an Integrative Health Coach- invite other moms to make meal planning easy and enjoyable, not a dreadful task. Doesn't that sound like fun?
So, I'd like to ask -- how do you do it? How do you make meal planning a fun and engaging time for your Self and/or your loved ones? Would love to hear your tips. And I could use all the help I can get.
In Health and Love,
August 27, 2017
Daisy De La Cruz
Ladies, you know the feeling you get when you’re all dolled up, not a hair out of place, makeup is flawless and your outfit is on point? With so much feminine and secure energy exuding from you, there’s no doubt everyone in the room can feel it too. Sexy, right? Yea, I can’t tell you the last time I felt like that.
I’m getting completely out of my comfort zone to talk about my health. A subject I largely avoid and hope no one else brings up. Or notices. But that’s going nowhere fast and after I became a Certified Integrative Health Coach and started taking clients, it was in my face more than ever and the voice in my head kept saying: “Daisy, you don’t fit the part.”
The truth is I’m not happy with the way I feel. All through my 20’s, I was one confident babe and nothing came before me and my girly ways. Please don’t take my comment as vain, I wasn’t conceited– I felt good and I always put my self-care first. Always.
So… what happened?
There wasn’t a single event that brought me here, but rather a combination of things and the passing of time without being aware of the unhealthy habit(s) I was creating. How does that happen? When do we as women, as mothers- slowly forget the very things that made us feel whole and complete?
For me, it started here. My (then) fiancé and I used to CrossFit together and we loved it. I felt amazing and looked great. Then shortly after we married I found out I was pregnant and shortly after that we lost our baby. To say I was devastated is an understatement. If you’re reading this and you too have suffered a miscarriage, then you know the frustration in not knowing “why?!” I blamed myself for a long time… It had to be me. The shame and guilt were just too much and I was quickly going into a depressive state. Thank God I have a good man and an amazing family.
Fast forward to our second pregnancy; I was terrified we would miscarry again and also completely elated to be a mom. Just to be sure I was in no way jeopardizing my child- I did no type of exercise during my pregnancy, minus a few low impact prenatal yoga sessions here and there. From regular CrossFit to nothing at all is a pretty drastic change…nevertheless, I felt it was the right thing to do. Our beautiful baby boy was born in the fall and that was it. The ME I had known and loved for 30 years slowly started taking a backseat.
Mentally, I wonder if perhaps my mom constantly reminding me that I was a mom now and “it was no longer about me” and “I didn’t come first anymore” also had something to do with where I find myself now. I know she meant well, and I understand that in our culture a good mom is praised if she puts her children first, even if it means she doesn’t get a bite to eat for the sake of feeding her kids. Pretty intense, right?
Whatever the case, I’m now in my early 30’s with a 3-year-old and I’ve become increasingly anxious to do something about the way I feel. I’m ready to face the elephant in the room instead of tiptoeing around it in fear it might wake up. I don’t want to make this journey about a number on a scale because it’s not. I’m ready to put in the work. To practice what I preach to the Moms I coach about physical self-love. To be a good example for my son. But I need community and accountability. I tried going back to CrossFit about a year ago and I was so discouraged. It was clear it was no longer for me.
I found Fit4Mom Greater NW Chicago by doing a Google search. It’s close to home and it appears to have what I need to get started; supportive women, a community of moms and connectedness. After meeting with Nicole & Kristen I felt understood and encouraged to take part in their Body Back program. For extra accountability, I volunteered to document my journey.
So if you’re still reading and find a piece of you here, this is for you, Queen.
For the Mom who can’t fit into pre-baby clothes anymore but continues to tell herself that she will one day. For the Mom who avoids taking pictures and tries to find the “right” angle when forced to. For the Mom who has forgotten what makes her shine. For the Mom who doesn’t know where to start or how she got here. I hope my journey inspires you to connect with someone and start with small wins. And if you don’t have that someone, know you can start with me.
A quest to feel like the old me has begun! Who’s with me?!
In health and so much love,