Your baby finally went down for a nap. You have some time before the chaos starts again. You think,

"I could do that workout video I saved weeks ago. Or maybe take a shower that lasts longer than four minutes."

Instead, you're standing in your kitchen, staring at the dishes, feeling that familiar knot in your stomach.

"But what if the baby needs me...and what kind of mom puts herself first?"

If you've had this thought, you're not alone. And the guilt you're feeling? It's not your fault.

The Truth About Mom Guilt

Here's what nobody tells you: the guilt isn't evidence that you're doing something wrong. It's evidence that you care deeply.

You feel guilty because you love your baby fiercely. Because somewhere along the way, you learned that being a good mom means disappearing into motherhood completely.

The problem? That belief is slowly erasing you.

Between 6 and 12 months postpartum, you're in a strange in-between space. Your body feels different. Your friendships feel distant. Your identity feels blurry. And when you're this depleted, the idea of taking care of yourself feels impossible.

So you keep putting yourself last. Because it feels easier than facing the guilt.

And every day, you disappear a little more.

What Guilt Is Really About

You think you feel guilty about taking some time for yourself. But what you're actually feeling is fear that if you're not constantly available, you're not a good mom. Anxiety about what others might think. Grief over losing the woman you used to be.

The guilt is just the surface. Underneath is the terrifying question: Do I still matter outside of being someone's mom?

The answer is yes. You absolutely do.

What Actually Helps

Stop Waiting for Permission:

You're waiting to feel "ready" enough to take care of yourself. But that moment isn't coming. The guilt will always find a reason to make you wait.

Taking care of yourself isn't something you earn. It's what makes you capable of being the mom you want to be.

Bring Your Baby With You

What if you didn't have to choose between taking care of yourself and being with your baby? When you remove the barrier of leaving your baby, the guilt often softens. You're not choosing yourself over them—you're showing them what self-care looks like.

Find People Who Get It

The loneliest part of mom guilt is feeling like you're the only one struggling. But when you're in a room full of moms who also feel guilty, who also wonder if they'll ever feel like themselves again? The guilt gets quieter. Because you realize it's not a personal failing—it's a shared experience.

Start Small

You don't need to commit to five days a week at 5 a.m. You just need to show up once. For one hour. In a space where you're welcomed exactly as you are—tired, unsure, still in yesterday's leggings.

Not because you're training for a marathon. But because you're training yourself to believe you still matter.

You Didn't Disappear Forever

We know it feels like the woman you used to be is gone. Like maybe this exhausted, guilt-ridden version of you is just who you are now.

But she's not gone. She's just buried under months of putting everyone else first.

And the beautiful thing? You don't have to dig her out alone.

You're allowed to take care of yourself. You're allowed to move your body. You're allowed to want connection and support. You're allowed to still be you.

Not someday when things calm down. Not after you lose the baby weight or sleep through the night.

Right now. Exactly as you are.

The guilt might come along for the ride. But you don't have to let it drive anymore.

Ready to take the first step? FIT4MOM Greater Northwest Chicago Suburbs offers fitness classes where your baby comes with you, the moms actually get it, and there's zero pressure to be anything other than exactly who you are right now. Try a FREE CLASS and see what it feels like to be seen again.